How do you sleep at night, Hojo?
by Semiramis-Audron
Summary: A Hojo, Lucrecia, Vicnent somewhat songfiction about the problem of children as experiments and in chap2 the problem of conscience towards all experiments. With Vincent in chap 2


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy nor Hojo, nor Lucrecia or Vincent, nor the song "Fairytale gone bad" by Sunrise Avenue... bla bla bla... you know the stuff!

And I don't want to find this anywhere else without my permission! Got that? Thanks!

And I want NO flames or nasty comments about writing a fiction with Hojo as one of the maincharacters. Fuck up all you Hojo-Haters! Without him you'd neither have Vampy-Vincent, Sephiroth,Cloud and FFVII, Advent Children, Last Order, Dirge of Cerberus and any other FFVII related thingy I forgot! So STFU if you have nothing to say about the fic itself!

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**How do you sleep at night, Hojo?**

Chapter one: Fairytale gone bad

"I wanto to see my son!! Please! I am his mother! I just..." She cried, almost collapsed in front of him. He just stared back at her with blank eyes. "I told you more than once. You cannot see him, Lucrecia!" With this he turned back to the giant tube filled with mako, scribbling something onto his clipboard. "He's your son too!" A female voice hissed viciously, stiffled by tears. "Don't you care about him at all?" She cried, she alway did... She banged her fists against his back... 'Oh? We skipped the clawing into my labcoat did we?' He thought before replying in a strange emotionless tune. "I do care..." Her eyes widened. "How can you say you care!? How can you say that and be so cold!" She screamed dragging at his coat. 'Here we go again' Hojo thought and sighed.

"What have I ever done to you that you torture me like that, Hojo?" He felt the heaviness of her hot face on his shoulder, the sobbing muffled by his coat. "Crecia... you agreed in..." He tried to sound calming, but she interrupted him. Her head jolted up as she yelled into his ear. "I NEVER AGREED IN NEVER SEEING OUR... MY CHILD AGAIN!!" He twitched... her voice was always so high pitched an piercing once they reached this phase of their discussion... "Ack Crecia! That hurt!" He said holding his palm against his ear, facing her. Her cheeks were reddened, her eyes bloodshot, her hair began to look greasy... and there were dark shadows under her eyes...

_This is the end you know  
Lady, the plans we had went all wrong  
We ain't nothing but fight and shout and tears_

"Not as much as you hurt me! Please just one short glance... No one'll know!" Those beautiful eyes... she looked so miserable... He turned his sight down... "No... I... Lucrecia, no!" He wished to fulfill her plea but he couldn't... "Why!?" She sniffed and grabbed the collar of his labcoat. "WHY HOJO!? Give me a reason why I cannot see my child! Why you emotional fuckwit, why?!" She already started swearing... It would soon be over, maximum half an hour... it was always the same. He let her shake him, let her shout at him, glare at him. "You said you'd love me! We saw ourselfs a future! Why can't I see my son!?" She shook him even harder. He remained calm, endured it, looking down at the shattered woman with compassion. "He's my son too Lucrecia... I told you why none of us can!" He said wondering how such a frail woman could shake him so hard.

He heard a clap, felt a short blaze on his cheek and his glasses being forced from his nose, sliding over the floor a few meters away from him as his face was turned to the left. He remained calm, just sighed.

_We got to a point I can't stand  
I've had it to the limit; I can't be your man  
I ain't more than a minute away from walking_

Lucrecia's flat hand still rested in midair where his face just had been. "It's Sephiroth' birthday. Why not even today?" Her voice was trembling, her hand shaking. He didn't even attempt to get back his glasses. He blinked a few times to focus on her. "He became property of ShinRa, the night you and me... created him... That's why I don't have the power to let you see him." He said and sighed again, looking at her, grief stricken. But something was in her eyes, something he never had seen in them before. "What if he weren't property of ShinRa?!" She whispered. He rubbed his cheek and frowned. "Pardon? What do you mean?" He blew a stray strand out of his sight. She looked up at him firmly. "If he were not both our son, just mine, he wouldn't be property of ShinRa..." Her arms were pressed against her sides, the hands clenched to fists. He knotted his brows. "Lu...crecia... what do you want to imply with that..." He spoke slowly, trying to keep his voice from pitching. Was he afraid he already knew the answer? "I thought you're the clever know-all scientist! I want to imply he may not be your son!"

_We can't cry the pain away  
We can't find a need to stay  
I slowly realized there's nothing on my side_

She shrugged her voice and face filled with carelessness. He gasped at this news... Were it news? Were it facts?... "What?... I don't..." He frowned even more, trying to find an emotion in her eyes that told him she was kidding. "You don't understand? What's not understandable in it? I dunno! Maybe you weren't such a good sniper as Vincent!"

_Out of my life, Out of my mind  
Out of the tears we can't deny _

He twitched when she spoke that name, stressing it with sexappeal in her voice. "Lucrecia, please... I can only try and see if Shi---" But she interrupted him again, her eyes narrowed to slits. "Oh no more excuses. You wont come back to me with my son! You don't have the backbone for it! Always backing down when ShinRa calls!"

_We need to swallow all our pride  
And leave this mess behind_

What was going on here? That wasn't like always... She didn't calm... she only grew more irritated. "I mean every of your experiments was a failure up to now!" He couldn't believe his ears. How could something like this come out of those beautiful lips he just wanted to kiss and make peace with?...

_Out of my head, Out of my bed  
Out of the dreams we had, they're bad_

He wasn't one to stand in so much if someone hurt his pride, because he knew they were just jealous or not intelligent enough to see his genius... But this was Lucrecia... the woman he loved... his wife... mother of his son... His son?... He felt his fists clenching without wanting them to.

_Tell them it's me who made you sad  
Tell them the fairytale gone bad_

"Lucrecia please, compose yourself... I... please Lucrecia..." He clawed his hands into his labcoat trying to stop them from turning into fists. "Please? Are you pleading for something? What about my pleadings for a happy life with a good husband?! You even failed as a husband! You don't have balls in your pants, you don't protect your family you sacrifice it, you really have no nuts! Mhmm... Obviously Sephirot must be Vincents son!"

_Another night and I bleed  
They all make mistakes and so did we_

Her eyes were shooting daggers at him. With every other person he'd just laughed and walked away. He was a scientist, thinking with his head, not with his crotch like that Turk...

_But we did something we can never turn back right_

That Turk... but it wasn't every other person, it was his wife... The one that had promised to love him 'til death did them part... And he felt this stinging heat inside him... "Lucrecia..." He whispered through gnashed teeth. "Don't pressurize me to hurt you…" She laughed hysterically at this, scorning him with it. "Ahahahaha!!!! Yes that fits! You can't get one up so you hurt your wife! You know... I'd been surprised if you got me pregnant! You failed at everything you did! Why should it be diff---" CLAP

_Find a new one to fool_

Her head and body turned half a circle and plummeted to the floor. Her eyes widened in shock, just as his. His right arm was in front of his chest his right hand in midair over his left shoulder. She gasped holding her reddening cheek as he stared at his hand in disbelief. He didn't... he didn't just... He never did... He loved her... I didn't slap her in the face... No please no... tell me I didn't!!!

_Leave and don't look back. I won't follow  
We have nothing left. It's the end of our time_

"YOU!" She screamed, tears rising up to her eyes. "Lucrecia please... Forgive me!" He winced stooping for her, offering her his hand to help her up. "I didn't mean to hurt you... I.." She pushed his hand away in anger, getting up onto her feet. "Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me again! I hate you! I fucking hate you!!!" She yelled and his head felt like exploding in pain about his deed.

_We can't cry the pain away  
We can't find a need to stay_

_There's no more rabbits in my hat to make things right_

"You're nothing than a mad scientist who doesn't love anyone but himself and his perverted experiments!!!" With this she ran out of the lab onto the floors...

_Out of my life, Out of my mind  
Out of the tears we can't deny_

He exhaled in a deep sigh, he had held his breath the time she shouted... "Lucrecia..."

Slowly he turned and stooped for his glasses.

_We need to swallow all our pride  
And leave this mess behind_

He didn't know she bumped into someone running through the floors as she was blinded by tears.

He breathed over the glass and wiped it clean at his labcoat.

_Out of my head, Out of my bed_

He rubbed his eyes and sat his glasses back onto his nose... everything seemed clearer now... literally...

_Out of the dreams we had, they're bad_

"If she was true... if Sephiroth is not my son...Then so be it... You can't change a constant..."

_Tell them it's me who made you sad  
Tell them the fairytale gone bad_

He sighed once more and took up his clipboard again, walking over to the shining tube, watching it closely notating even the slightest change...

**_Out of my life, Lucrecia... Out of my mind, I need it for more important things... Out of the tears we can't deny, I have none left for you... We need to swallow all our pride, and leave this mess behind that had been our life ... Out of my head as fast as you've been, out of my bed... Out of the dreams we had, they're bad... I know my nightmares will be worse... Tell them it's me who made you sad, Lucrecia... Tell them the fairytale gone bad... Run to him... Tell them the fairytale gone bad... Run fast... Tell them the fairytale gone bad ... run far and run now..._**

-to be continued-

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Note: I wrote this ff some month ago... And thought there was something missing... and one morning I woke up because my radio-alarm-clock woke me and there was tis Song by Sunrise Avenue playing and my eyes bolted up and I sat upright in my bed and thought: WOOSHH!! That fits so perfect! I love it!

As for chapter two: There will be a song in it as well... only this time it will not be between the fic but will actually be "performed" as direct speach of one of the characters... and not just like sort of Hojo's thoughts here... no! won't be ridiculous, will be Vincent!

And will be belonging to the title...


End file.
